Burning Both Ends

Stress

When I was younger, I always thought I was having a lot of stress, but its all perspective. I guess that's what happens when you gain more experience and life skills, you look back and realize that things weren't that bad. At least that's what I'm telling myself now, that in a couple years I'll look back and think "wow, I was so stressed out back then". Problem with that is that implies that my tolerance will be even higher then, so who knows what my work load will be.

I've got a few things on my mind lately:

• Business growth
• Personal relationships
• Self abilities
• "get-there-it-is"
• Conventions

Business growth

Business is picking up quite a bit, but I'm getting to the point where I'm only able to give 60-70% effort to everything, or 110% effort into one thing for a few days/week. Running a company is a lot to handle for basically one person. I'm at the awkward spot of not being able to hire anyone else because we're still not there financially, but I know that if I could I could focus a bit more energy into building new business.

Personal relationships

My wife and I had a rough patch this week, we are both over worked and over stressed and forgot to spend some quality time together. She's working full time as well finishing her BSN full time, and her current course load is insane, even for me. We've worked through it and spent a couple good days together this weekend, but I know that we're both going to be stressed out for a while.

Self abilities

For some reason, I keep thinking I need to keep learning. I've been picking up my cyber-security training again, working through some courses and practicing practical hacking. The unfortunate part of YouTube is that it will always recommend you more videos, and I keep getting sucked into the rabbit hole of learning more and more which makes me feel like I'm not doing enough. One of the things my wife and I talked about was setting more boundaries, the whole work/life balance thing. For decades my work has been my life, it still is quite engrained but now I see that I need to make time for other things. Preparing for a baby as well, I need to make sure I'm in the best shape possible for when it arrives.

"Get-there-it-is"

Pretty much a summation of my work/self improvement problem. I'm impatient with work, it's not growing fast enough, I want to double my revenue every week, the usual stuff. I'm impatient with myself, I want to be able to do everything, I want to be able to learn everything, I want to be able to do everything at once. It's just a constant cycle in my brain, which goes through each thing I think I need to learn and/or do and then question why It's not done yet. Just need to take a step back and realize that I'm not going to be able to do everything at once, and that's okay. Give myself a break and focus on one thing at a time.

Conventions

I'm heading to San Diego in a week for a convention. I'm excited, and ready to learn and it should be a relaxing time too. One thing I always loved doing is travel. Will be nice to stretch my legs a bit and break up my routine. Some fresh air and new environment will do me good.